Hi Angel!, I'm gonna try to help u with ur poem...but it's not gonna b easy because poems r always written with the heart and they sometimes don't have too much sense for all those who can read them.
At the beginning I thought I´d correct every part of ur poem line by line, but that would take me a long time, so I've decided to write the poem in the way it looks more beautiful and romantic, even if i don't know if i'd be able to express what u really wanna say. I'm gonna write it thinking that the poem was written for a guy (as i would do), them u can change the gender of all the adjetives as u wish.
Estás allí,
demasiado confiado,
poco cuidadoso;
y yo estoy aquí,
viviendo mi vida,
pensando que no es perfecta sin ti
pero quiero decirlo…
estoy bien porque te tuve,
no cuando fuiste mío;
pero cuando estoy sin ti, nene,
si no tengo tu lluvia
no puedo gozar del sol,
si no tengo tu tormenta
no puedo amar la brisa,
si no siento tu corazón frío
no puedo sentir mi corazón caliente.
Gracias,
porque me das más de lo que tomas,
¡pero tomas mi alma.!
Hope my help has been useful!!.
Virginia (from Valencia, Spain)